Who's afraid of the big bad wolf???

Phillip has been scared of pretty much everything recently. He's at a point where he is starting to understand the world around him, and sometimes that means realizing your fears. I was pretty annoyed with him at first. "Mommy, I'm scared of cartoons," "Mommy, toys are scary." Then came the less annoying, "Mommy, I'm scared of the dark and everything in it." It took me a while to understand that his fears are justified. Think of all the ridiculous things we are scared of as adults, that children balk at. We're scared of making new friends, speaking in public, being different, even having opinions. So I would say he has every right to be scared of things that really can be scary.

That said, I have ALWAYS been afraid of the dark. Most people who know me would never know this. I put on a brave front, and have even been known to make fun of other people for being scared of the dark. I deny myself the privilege of looking frightened when nobody else can see. Each and every night when I get up to feed Danny, I make a trip to the bathroom before going back to bed. I don't know what I think is going to happen but I'm scared to death of dark bathrooms. Refusing to appear bothered, I walk as slow as humanly possible from Danny's room to the bathroom door. It's only about two steps, but it feels like an eternity. I go inside, turn the light on and shut the door. I'm safe in the light if only for a moment. I absolutely will not look in the mirror or glance in the shower. If something is going to get me, I'd rather it just do it and not scare me first. After my time in the bathroom is done, I make sure I'm all the way in the hallway before I turn off the light. I won't even spend one second in there with the light off. Then I take the treacherous six steps to my bed as slowly as I can. Maybe if I look brave I will scare off the bad guys. Then as quickly as I can, I snuggle up to my knight in shining armor, who has no idea the comfort he is providing me. I close my eyes and drift away to a happier place until the light of the loving sun hits my face in the morning. Another night conquered.

Fear, whether justified or not, is there. Society holds no bars in exposing us to the horrors the world has to offer. If it weren't for my lust of knowledge, I would love to be naive and trusting to everything around me.

Eight months!

Danny turned eight months old on Feb. 24th. He is the most perfect little angel that I could ever imagine having in my home. He is always happy, sleeps incredibly well, and never gives me a hard time with anything. I love him so much! He's crawling, saying "Dada" and "Bleh," eating three normal meals a day, and best of all... he just cut his first tooth!!!! I honestly had no idea his tooth was coming in. He never ran a fever or got grumpy. He just stuck my finger in his mouth yesterday and there it was! What a joy!

I decided that I really needed to change something about myself. Losing weight is such a long process for me, so I needed something I could do RIGHT NOW. So, I decided to change my hair. My hair has been black for the past three years, so I had no idea if I could actually get it blonde or not. I wasn't 100% confident when I started, but I couldn't be happier with the results. I think it looks great and I'm so happy that I took the risk.

Phillip has always been our little "problem-child." He's loud, doesn't listen to anyone, whines all day, and never wants to eat what I fix him... but what can I say? I love him to death. He is so smart and funny. He has the biggest personality and always puts a smile on my face. He is so caring. He always wants to apologize when he makes you upset and will come give you hugs if you look sad. He is the best big brother to Danny! They play together and chase each other. Phillip always asks me if Danny is hungry and when his nap time is. It's not always easy having two energetic little boys, but it's always worth it!

Mike and I have been enjoying our free time together at night. The kids have been going to bed at eight o'clock every night, which is right when Mike gets off work. So we have had a lot of alone time lately. It's been a nice change of pace from the hectic routine we usually have at night. All good things must come to an end though, since Mike's schedule is changing next week. Luckily the kids' schedule doesn't have to change, we just won't have as much alone time together. It was great while it lasted though.

I've been on a long distance diet with my best friend from Alabama. I've lost four pounds so far, but this past week has been hectic and hard. I know if I really want to lose weight I have to start working out, but on four hours of sleep a night, it's hard to find the energy. I'm stepping it up though. I'll be ready for beach season in no time!