Time is running out!!!!

Only six more weeks!!!

I woke up today feeling especially refreshed. I got almost eleven hours of sleep, and woke up to sweet little kisses from my three year old; Phillip is always the one to come get me up in the morning. Then I started thinking... in only six short weeks I am going to be starting all over again. Am I really ready for the challenges of having a second child? Phillip was the hardest baby. He cried about 10-15 hours a day, never slept, and I ended up with sleep paralysis. Even now, at three years old, he can be more than a handful.

I also feel like for the first time since Phillip was born, I'm finally starting to have more quality time with Mike. We usually get between three and four hours to ourselves every night after Phillip goes to bed, and it is just so nice. I know I'm being selfish for not wanting to give that up when the new baby is born. I just love the time we have had recently and I wish there was some way I didn't have to make the sacrifice.

Then there are my ever-prevalent fears of not being a good mother once I have two children. If I can so easily see my short-comings now, just with Phil, how guilty am I going to feel later? I know I will have to give up some of my hobbies for a while. There are plenty of things I can do to be a better mother. Like not coddling the children all the time like they're going to disappear. I'm pretty bad about thinking Phillip needs me all the time. I definitely will have to get out of that habit.

All that aside, I really am excited to meet our new little boy. I do hope he will be an easier an happier child than Phil has been, but only time will tell. Heavenly Father knows me, and He knows what our family can/can't handle. I just hope His plan for me includes a healthy baby who smiles and sleeps.